Chapter Text
Ethan Nakamura's POV
Summer 2009
Not f*cking fair.
She wasn't even looking.
The fight was already over.
And yet next thing I know he stabs her, and walks away.
I had noticed him going back but honest to the gods I didn't think he would hurt her.
Maybe threaten her.
But not stab her in the back.
I'd partly followed him, and stayed a bit aways.
What pained me is how she thought it'd been me.
"Ethan," she'd said, her arms crossed. "I don't—"
That's when Kronos had whipped out his scythe. I didn't have time to warn her. The lord of time had made sure of that. He knew I'd try to save her.
He sped his own time up so fast he'd stabbed her within milliseconds.
I heard a loud gasp, and saw her blood flow out of her wound, down her legs, and onto the pavement. The dripping sound it made was unnerving.
Kronos had laughed.
I watched as Lydia looked down. Her body swayed as the shock hit her. When it seemed she'd registered what'd happened, she crumpled to the floor.
Kronos kicked her body aside, nearly knocking her into the chasm below, and yanked the scythe out.
"Well I'll be needing a telkhine to clean this, won't I?" He said to me, a twisted smile on his lips. "It's tainted with traitorous blood."
His eyes fixated on something and he frowned.
"Nakamura!" He yelled. I looked down, suddenly aware of my hand trembling. I didn't realize I'd drawn my sword. Kronos had noticed.
He gazed at my sword and scoffed. "When she dies— which will be very soon, I want you to carry her body to somewhere where they will see her. I want them to be in agony for the time being. Wondering why she isn't back. And tonight when we attack again, they will march out and see their leader dead. That will certainly discourage them. Perhaps I cannot kill Jackson, but her death will wound the Camp much, much more."
He shot me a malicious grin and walked away, swinging his scythe in his hand in such a gleeful manner that it was sickening.
I was surprised he hadn't sped time up to kill her faster.
When he was out of earshot I sprinted to her, and turned her onto her back.
Her eyes were squeezed shut, and tears plastered her pale cheeks. She was whimpering in pain, and her mouth kept trembling. Her hands shook, and her body seized momentarily.
I'd never seen her in such pain.
I couldn't let her die.
I quickly kneeled down and whipped out some ambrosia and nectar and shoved it into her mouth, which made her choke, but I forced it in anyways.
"You don't get to die on me," I said, my voice shaky. "You don't. If you die I will never— NEVER forgive you for it."
She let out a sob, holding her stomach. She was shaking her head as she forced herself to swallow. She was shivering, and her skin was turning a strange light gray. Around her abdomen, her blood was turning black.
"Damn it!" I snarled, desperately pushing more ambrosia into her mouth.
She groaned, and weakly raised her arm to push me away.
"No!" I said. "Don't— don't do that."
"E-E-Ethan," she croaked as she struggled against me. "S-S-Stop.... I'm... g-going... t-to... b-burn... if.... you give... me.... m-m-more..."
"You need more!" I insisted, forcing her mouth open.
She allowed me to force more in, and then covered her mouth.
"P-Please— d-don't," she begged. "It... is... no... use...."
"Yes it is use!" I said firmly. "Maybe I'm not a hotshot future neurosurgeon like you but I know my s-s-sh*t..."
I had to force myself not to cry. I couldn't let her know I was losing hope.
She let out a shuddering sigh. Her shaky hand touched my arm, and she blinked away tears.
"T-T-Tell A-Annabeth—"
"No!" I hissed, removing an ointment from my belt. "You don't get to say goodbyes! You're not dying!"
She whimpered. She was shaking her head again, and she seemed to be trying to say something.
I poured some of the ointment on her wound, and she let out a soft scream, her hand flying to squeeze mine.
"I know it hurts— I know— but this will help you hold on. Lydia you have to."
She numbly waved her hand, as if imploring I'd just leave her to die.
"You're an idiot if you think I'm letting you die," I said, cradling her in my arms and picking her up. "Where are they staying?"
"I-I—don't k-know," she said softly, her head leaning against my chest. She winced and shut her eyes. "E-Ethan p-please—"
"I made a mistake leaving you," I said. "Please let me make it right."
She frowned and shook her head, draping her arm over my shoulder. It was a good sign considering the fragile state she was in.
"Any idea where they might've gone?" I asked. I was trying to stay calm as I asked her. I didn't want to let on that if we didn't find then fast, she'd die.
"N-No," she whispered. "I-I d-don't know..."
She groaned softly, her hand squeezing my shoulder. Her nails barely dug into my skin and it made my chest tighten.
That was all the strength she could even muster now and I was making her talk to me.
I moved one of my hands to rest behind her head, and began stroking her hair softly. She whimpered, leaning into my chest, slow tears rolling down her cheeks.
I had absolutely no idea where I was going. Silena had not mentioned anywhere they might be staying.
Then it clicked.
"Uh... you know Annabeth's number, right?"
Lydia scoffed softly, making an annoyed face despite the pain. "O-O-Obviously... but why... does it matter?" She shivered and my heart just about stopped.
I winced. "The spy mentioned how the plan if anything went wrong was to call Annabeth. I-I know I hurt her but someone will answer her phone, right?"
Lydia almost immediately looked away from me when I reminded her that I'd been the one to stab Annabeth with a poison knife.
"Y-Yeah," she breathed.
I wasted no time in searching a mortal's pockets. I extracted a phone. "Want to type it or—?"
"I-I n-need to t-type it," she said, reaching a shaky hand for the phone. "I-I'm feeling m-my fingers t-tingling. I-I need to k-keep u-using m-my hands..."
I didn't know why that would help, but I handed her the phone. She very slowly typed in the number, then gave me the phone.
"Oh— okay," I said, turning red. I hoped someone like Percy answered.
The line rang about three times before an slightly familiar voice answered.
"Hello?"
I couldn't recall exactly who it was.
"Er— hi. It's... Ethan."
"Oh," the voice said, sounding exasperated. But it seemed like they realized something. "How did you get this number?"
"From Lydia," I said. "Whoever you are, I NEED to know where you are all gathered. She's injured. Badly. I swear on the Styx I'm not coming to surprise attack you. I need you to have at least two Apollo kids ready to treat her. It's urgent."
I heard the person on the other line let out a shaky breath. "I-I think I should hand you off to Percy—"
"NO!" I snarled. "She is DYING! I need to know where you are, NOW!"
"L-Let me get Percy—"
"She has been stabbed with Kronos's f*cking SCYTHE," I hissed. "If I don't find where you are fast, her soul will be torn out and she'll be worse than dead! She will never make Elysium!"
Lydia shivered again in my arms, her lips trembling. Her eyes were half open, but she didn't seem to be awake.
It was starting.
"O-Okay! Okay!" The voice cried. "The Plaza Hotel! If this is a trap and you've hurt my sister—"
I hung up. It had to be either Connor or Travis, and I couldn't waste time arguing.
I began to run, Lydia bouncing in my arms. I didn't know how to get there as quickly as possible. I couldn't ask her to hotwire me a car now, it'd kill her for sure. And I didn't know how to do it.
There was a rustling sound behind me.
I whirled around and yelled, staggering back as I saw a huge black Pegasus behind me.
It nickered, and nodded to Lydia.
She let out a soft giggle. "Blackjack..."
I looked up at the pegasus, who seemed to be nodding for me to get on its back.
I quickly lifted Lydia onto it and then myself, and used my own armor to tie her onto me as I held on to the pegasus's mane.
It took off at lightning speed, and I let out a yell as it bolted through the air.
It nickered several times, which made Lydia let out a series of giggles. I wonder if he was making her laugh.
"Mm," she moaned, suddenly furrowing her brows. Her hands began to shake furiously, and her whole body seized.
"Lydia!" I cried, turning her on her side like she'd taught me to do. "Lydia—"
The pegasus nickered loudly. I stared frantically at Lydia, who had not stopped seizing.
But then she did stop, and she groaned.
"Lydia!" I said, touching her face. "Can you hear me..."
She mumbled something incoherently.
"What was that?" I asked softly.
"Mom," she murmured. "Want... my mom..."
"Y-Your mom?" I asked. "But she—"
"M-Mom?" She asked, her head nodding around like she was looking for her. "No... no..."
She let out a sob, her hands shaking again. "No... please... no...."
The pegasus nickered again, making me look up.
We were seconds away from the Plaza Hotel.
The horse landed swiftly, and from the doors burst out Percy, and two Apollo kids I didn't recognize.
"Bring her here!" One of them called as they produced a stretcher.
I immediately leapt off the pegasus.
"She had a seizure a few minutes ago— lasted almost forty five seconds," I croaked. "And she started hallucinating... I think. She was talking about her mom."
Percy's eyes flickered to Lydia, and I saw pain as he looked at her.
The Apollo looked at each other as they placed her on the stretcher. "You got here just in time. She's almost gone."
They ran inside, and Percy nodded to the pegasus, who soared off.
"What happened?" He asked, bitterness laced in his voice.
"W-We'd retreated," I said. "I-I saw Kronos going back b-but I thought he m-might threaten her. I never thought he'd hurt her. He just... impaled her. And s-she just collapsed. H-He wanted me to leave her to die b-but I just couldn't."
Percy looked away, his fists balled up.
"Thank you," he said quietly. "For bringing her back."
"Listen I'm sorry—"
"She's fine," he muttered. "She'll be fine. I want to be mad at you for it but..."
"Look you can be mad. I-I know Annabeth's your girlfriend and Lydia's like the sister you never had. I-It's all my fault."
Percy waved dismissively and looked back up. His green eyes were stormy like a wild ocean. He looked distressed but also relieved.
"You made your choice," he murmured. "I'm just glad you didn't let Lydia die. I can't hate you for it."
"Percy if you want to be mad you should—"
"No," he said. "No. I don't want to be mad."
He said it with such sharpness I was intimidated. This guy was barely reaching my height and I was afraid of him.
I guess that's the effect of Percy Jackson.
One of the Apollo kids ran out. "Annabeth's awake."
Percy seemed to have color flood back into his face. He looked at me and nodded before going inside.
The Apollo camper looked at me timidly. "Do you want to wait for her?"
My chest swelled. "I-I'm allowed to?"
"Well Connor says you swore on the Styx... that's pretty serious."
"Yes! Yes— I swear it. I'm not going to hurt anyone I just... I need to see her. When she's awake."
He nodded. "You can wait in here."
He led me in, and the environment completely changed.
Injured demigods were all over the dining room and lobby. I was sickened to see how awful and beat up they looked. Being part of a monster army was so different. They were either in Tartarus or at full capacity.
Several shot me suspicious glances. I ignored them. Travis and Connor were at the front desk, and it seemed Percy had just finished telling them what happened, judging by how he'd left their presence.
I wasn't expecting them to walk up to me.
"Thank you," Travis said. "For saving our sister."
"Y-You're welcome," I stammered.
"You can wait with us," Connor said. "We want to see her too."
I nodded and they led me into what I assume was the waiting room, as many anxious demigods were tapping their feet and looking at the opposite door continuously.
I felt a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.
This really was all my fault.
I didn't deserve the Stolls being so nice.
I didn't deserve Percy choosing to not be mad at me.
"Hey," Travis said to the population that looked at me strangely. "He just saved our sister's life. Leave him alone."
"You don't have to do that," I said quickly. "This is all my fault—"
"Hey, don't think that right now," Connor said. "We're on a truce. They can leave you alone for an hour."
I half smiled, wringing my hands together.
"You really hurt her when you left, though," Travis muttered, so quietly I hardly heard it.
"What?" I asked.
"I said you really hurt her when you left," he repeated. "I have never seen her cry, Ethan. And she cried. I don't think she knows I saw but I did see."
My chest tightened. "I know and I'm sorry—"
"Do you love her?"
Connor looked up at me expectantly.
"I-I do," I said. "But she doesn't think I do."
"Lydia doesn't understand love that well," Travis said. "She never had the impression her mother loved her. I don't think she ever understood that Luke loved her. She's always had to be so independent and fierce for everyone else's sake. She knows she cares a lot about us, her siblings. And you. But I don't think she knows how to love. Or at least she knows but doesn't know it's called love. It's a difficult thing to understand. For her, anyways."
"I-I never thought of it that way," I said.
Travis nodded knowingly. "I think she's confused why you call your feelings 'love.' She associates it so much with romance and since you only were just starting that, well, I guess if anything she didn't think you'd feel it so fast. She's gotten better over the years. Knows sibling love now, in a way. But I think she feels like saying 'I love you' is bland if she doesn't feel it. And since she doesn't exactly know what she feels well... she won't say it back."
"I see," I said, wringing my hands together. "That makes a lot more sense..."
Travis half smiled. He was about to say something else when the door flew open.
"Lydia's awake," Will Solace said, his face sweaty.
The Stolls and I sprang up, and ran to her room.
Lydia had been laid in one of the hotel rooms. She was wincing as one of the Apollo kids— I think his name was Austin— put bandages on her.
When she saw us, she half smiled.
"Hey," she said weakly.
Connor and Travis ran to her side.
"You are so stupid," Connor hissed, looking like he might cry.
"Dang, I just came here to have a good time—"
"Don't ever scare us like that again," Travis cut in. "We need our big sister. You're supposed to help me with college apps next year!"
Lydia rolled her eyes. "Is that all I'm good for?"
"No. But you can't die either way. You're not allowed."
I smiled as Connor and Travis hugged her. I wish I had siblings like that.
"Ouch," Lydia said after a few seconds. "That hurts."
"That's what she said—"
"Oh shut up," she replied, rolling her eyes. "Connor that SUCKED what happened to your talent?"
"Disappeared just like your life almost did," Connor replied smoothly, making Lydia's lip twitch.
It was unbelievable how they could so freely joke about her dying as if they weren't overwhelmed by the fact they'd almost lost her.
"Your chances of having a girlfriend disappeared a long time ago," Lydia said. "So I wouldn't be talking."
"Says the one who's never had a boyfriend."
Her eyes flickered to me.
"Oh come on Connor," Travis said playfully. "You can't say that in front of Austin."
Austin rolled his eyes and blushed. "You asked me if I would date her during truth or dare and I said I would under different circ*mstances! She's three years older than me!"
"Age doesn't matter," Connor piped up.
"Hey, I'm not a child predator," Lydia said.
"Oh right you only ATTRACT child predators. Like monsters."
I let out a snort.
"Monsters love me," Lydia said. "I smell so great."
"You don't even use perfume, what are you talking about?"
Lydia gasped in fake offense. "Well I'd rather use just deodorant than bucketloads of cologne like you do. Trying to impress a certain daughter of Demeter?"
Travis reddened. "Hey, you're treading on dangerous ground—"
"What are you gonna do, stab me for it?" Lydia joked. "Get in line."
I smirked and she looked at me, her blue eyes shining.
Connor turned to me and nudged Travis. "Hey how about we give the husband some time with his wife."
"Connor," Lydia said in a warning tone, her jaw slack.
"It's okay," I said quickly. "You guys take your time with her."
"Nah, dude, it's your turn," Travis said, winking.
I flushed red as they left, taking Will and Austin with them.
Lydia looked at me, and I swore I saw her blushing. "Thank you."
"I-It was n-nothing," I stammered. I seemed to have forgotten what words were.
She had that effect on me.
She patted a spot on her bed and motioned for me to sit.
"Lydia," I said when I'd taken a seat. "I really am sorry."
"It's not your fault, Ethan," she said quietly. I could tell she was trying to look grateful about what I'd done, but it was clear through the pain I could see in her eyes that she was still hurt I'd left to begin with.
"If I could change it," I said, "I would. I would never have left."
"What's done is done," she said, turning away slightly, like she didn't want to consider what might've happened if I'd stayed.
Kronos may not have taken Luke's body.
The Battle at Zeus's Fist would not have happened.
Several campers would still be alive.
Lydia trailed her hand to rest over mine. She winced.
"What?" I said. "What's wrong, what hurts?"
"Everything," she breathed, coughing slightly. "I er— might admit I acted stronger than I was with Connor and Travis. I-I don't want them to worry."
"Make sure you at least tell Will and Austin the truth," I suggested. "They are your doctors, after all."
She nodded, grimacing again. She shifted, and seemed to be trying to turn on her side.
I swiftly wrapped my hand around her waist and flipped her, making her blush again.
"Thanks," she said, squeezing my hand. She took a deep breath. "I—"
"I love you," I blurted out.
She faltered, and swallowed hard. "No... Ethan... you don't. We talked about this."
"Yes I do," I said, deciding I needed to make it all right. "I love you, Lydia Evelyn Castellan. I've loved you for a long time now. And I screwed up. I know I did. But I do, love you. When this is over... I swear on the River Styx I'll abandon Kronos and his army and I will come back to Camp with you."
Lydia's lip trembled. "Ethan—"
"I know it's not the easiest thing for you to understand, as brilliant as you are," I said. "But I do love you. I know I love you."
"Y-You care about me, it's different—"
"You know the difference between caring and loving?" I said. "Caring is just... genuinely worrying about someone's wellbeing. And being good to them. But love... Lydia, I think about you every damn day. Being with you makes me feel... a way I can't begin to describe. Listening to you talk makes me smile, even when it isn't about anything specific. I can't live without you. And I made a horrible mistake leaving you. I thought I was protecting you."
I drew a deep breath. "I swear on the River Styx... I will do my best to help you win this war. My loyalty to Kronos is no more. I will never leave again after this. And I will show you how love feels and I will be... someone you can trust. I'll ask you to be my girlfriend and one day my wife—"
"Ethan," she said, tears rolling down her cheeks. "You're thinking so ahead—"
"I just know what I want," he said. "I know I want you in my life. I want to be with you. Forever. I want to die at the age of a hundred in your arms, surrounded by our kids and our grandkids, and a few dogs and cats. I never want to live without you, Lydia. I love you. So much..."
She wiped her eyes, and shook her head. "Ethan i-it's going to b-be so difficult—"
"I'll make any sacrifices necessary to fix what I screwed up," I said, feeling myself on a roll. "I will make it right."
Lydia whimpered, and I crawled to lay down beside her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into my chest.
"Ethan," she whispered. "Don't make promises you can't keep."
"I will keep this promise," I said, rubbing her back gently. "Just think about it, okay?"
She nodded, and sniffled. "I-I uh... I need to sleep it off."
"Alright," I said, my chest tight as I got up. "I will see you. Please... be safe."
I leaned down and kissed her forehead. Her lips trembled, and I lifted her chin to press a firm kiss on her lips.
I was surprised she kissed back, and didn't pull away for a long, long time.
I wish to the gods I hadn't left. Not then, and not before.
I wish I'd known it would be the last time I'd ever kiss her.
